Has anyone suffered severe depression while in a long-term relationship or marriage?
Has anyone suffered (or had their partner suffer) from severe depression while in a long-term relationship or marriage?
Did you find yourself fighting more with your partner or pulling away completely? Were you/they able to solve their issues without ending the relationship?
Yeah.. another one of those questions I found myself in the same situation. I pulled away completely, cocooned myself in my own little world, and didn’t let anyone inside it. I went through the motions with out emotions. Medication helped, but by then the damage was done. I got out of it, but while the marriage ended, went right back into it worse than before. Took a while to get out of that one, and it was hard to do. The biggest thing is don’t shut the other person out. Eventually they will see a closed door and quit knocking. Then try and find someone else with an open door.
Had I done that, who knows what would have happened. Maybe the same thing, maybe something different. But it helped, I grew from it and hopefully became a better person because of it. That is all we can do. Learn from our mistakes so we don’t repeat them.
i did, but my partner thought nothing was really wrong and wasn’t supportive at all. thought i was just making it up to make him feel bad for me i guess. we ended up breaking up because of it.
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Not me, but my wife does.
Her entire attitude changed on me once she did that, and it was unfortunate because everything was going so well before that. We’re still together, but we fight a lot more than we should. It’s utterly ridiculous.
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I’m sorry I can’t answer, I"m just too depressed today.
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Yes. I had post partum depression. I think we fought more. I eventually saw a doctor and went on meds for it. It made a world of difference. After a year or so I no longer needed the meds. We’re fine now.
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if i stay on my meds we’re ok. if not things get pretty bad. i didn’t realize it for a long time and try to stick to the meds these days. (depression and ptsd)
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Yep, and the only thing that saved our marriage was me leaving. Not threatening to leave but leaving-didn’t file for divorce- never wanted that- I wanted him to admit he was depressed and seek help. He did and the marriage is beautiful.
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Yeah.. another one of those questions I found myself in the same situation. I pulled away completely, cocooned myself in my own little world, and didn’t let anyone inside it. I went through the motions with out emotions. Medication helped, but by then the damage was done. I got out of it, but while the marriage ended, went right back into it worse than before. Took a while to get out of that one, and it was hard to do. The biggest thing is don’t shut the other person out. Eventually they will see a closed door and quit knocking. Then try and find someone else with an open door.
Had I done that, who knows what would have happened. Maybe the same thing, maybe something different. But it helped, I grew from it and hopefully became a better person because of it. That is all we can do. Learn from our mistakes so we don’t repeat them.
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I worked at a job I hated for 3 years. I was depressed but never admitted it. I took it out on my husband, my family, my friends. I stayed at home a lot, I ate a lot, I would get very depressed on Sundays knowing I had to go back to work on Monday. I finally found another job and left. A few months went by and I was happy and back to my old self. Thank goodness my husband didn’t leave me during that time. You can’t always fix it. If you are the one depressed you need to do a hard look at yourself and what is going on in your life. Figure out what you can and can not change and work a plan. Therapy if needed. If your spouse is the one depressed all you can do is be available when he/she needs you and don’t offer suggestions on how to fix things. That can make it worse. Schedule fun things to do as much as possible. Rent funny movies, watch funny shows, make dates to go for walks or to the gym and work some of it out. Excersise is a natural healer for depression. (for me) Do your best not to respond to rude comments or what you think is rude. Keep the peace as much as possible.
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Yes, but it was due to marital problems. So I found myself pulling away for sure, and was not able to solve the problem without ending the relationship.
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I have suffered depression a few times during my 9 year marriage (and yes, we’re still happily married) My husband was incredibly supportive when I was in therapy and on medication. I constantly assured him that my depression had nothing to do with our marriage (which was true) I had PPD after our child was born, I educated him on what was happening and why I was going through what I was going through. I went to therapy 2x a week, took my meds and was fortunate enough to recover and move on with my life. I had a history of depression my whole life. The other times when I was depressed, I did everything I could to take care of myself (with medication and therapy) so I could take care of my family. My DH is amazing and very supportive. He reassured me that we would get through that time together, and that he would do anything he could to help me. Not every spouse handles it that well, Men in general, have a tendency to just want to "fix" things. Depression can’t always be fixed" and I told my husband that I need to seek outside sources for help, but I did share with him whenever he was concerned about me.
I hope this helps.
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Lots & lots of people do.
You fight more, you pull away to avoid the fighting.
Like all things the person suffering has to want to do something about it.
Then you need to realize that wanting to change and actually changing aren’t the same thing.
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Well actually i am in one right now. My husband has Psoriasis that is awful for him in winter time. he gets depressed all winter and seems like he is never happy and he never tries to be. All you can do is try to smile more and try to do things that you guys used to do in the happy days. If you really really love him them stick for a while more but don’t become moody or stressed about his situation, i am not saying leaving to suffer himself, but you have to do activities yourself, don’t close youself too.
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